Tag: youth

What is age?

I don’t like my chronological age. It doesn’t remotely reflect how I see myself. It doesn’t reflect my interests in most cases. It is, however, unavoidable.

In my varied work life spending the work day with many different ages of coworkers I found I gravitate toward younger individuals. I appreciate their energy, curiosity, enthusiasm, perspective, and enjoyment of life. Working with them is fun, and I find I model my actions to theirs. The conversations are about what’s the next thing to experience. The new places to eat, the great places to go to listen to music, the crazy friends who entertain them with adventures they have, the trips they take and places they go for fun.

Conversely, when working around older humans the conversations are about doctor appointments, prescriptions, parents failing health, avoiding places new that might risk injury, paying bills, worry for adult children (the ones who are having all that fun) and fear of what is around the corner. I gravitated to the younger employees (if there were any) and escaped as soon as I could for those situations.

Can I tell you how easy it is to fall into the old foggy mentality. Instead I dream of beaches, music, boats, diving, dancing.

The past several months have been startling to me by the varied aspects of my life as aging grounds against my self perception. Literally – doctors, prescriptions, tests, treatments, looking at my reflection and thinking of how she can be that fun, silly, carefree person she was?

I’ve never wanted to get old. Each age milestone didn’t make me excited for what was next but gave me pause for what I had lost. It’s been that way my whole life. I didn’t even like my children getting older.

I see elderly people and say to myself, “I don’t want to be them,” and still I am creeping up, crawling up, flowing up, rushing up, running up on that.

So, as I get ready for another test today at 1 pm I try to push away the regret for youth lost, and think this will give the doctors the information to keep me going another good twenty years.

My Happy Place – Salt Water

Cheers!

-N

What those amazing followers teach me

I’ve been having a great time watching my follower count go up for my blog, my twitter and my Facebook author page. It is a great feeling to think I might have something to say that will connect with another human. I’ve laughed out loud at the posts on Twitter by the vibrant young people out there. I remember that time in my life where everything was exciting and full of adventure.

I was talking with someone about what happens when humans reach a certain age. That certain age can vary depending on the human and their life experience. She had been very sick, spent hours in the ER and came away with a diagnosis that most likely was stress related. Ok, this person does have a lot of stress in her life, but the first thing I thought was she is younger than me, so check mark the age box. She is younger in years I can’t get back, yet I refuse to be one of those old people who always talk about illnesses, aches and pains, prescriptions and doctor appointments.

Yuck!! Double yuck!!

Most young people don’t go there, they don’t have time for it while they live life to the fullest. Sometimes that living gets them in trouble, but they do as Taylor Swift says “shake it off!!” I want to keep that youthful thought in my head so I can avoid the signs of acting my age.

Let’s keep dancing.

Sally Field said she see’s herself as young, no matter her chronological age. I do that too. In my dreams I am young, skinny and adventurous. Even if I am my current age in dreams my actions betray my self perception as a youthful person. I refuse to cut my hair no matter how many times I’m told long hair on older women ages them, because I like my hair like this. My iTunes playlist has a lot of current music. I enjoy listening to and engaging with the young people I encounter.

I think we all have an age that is our best age. Mine is 35. That age to me is still young, very active, super sexy, effortlessly spontaneous and immensely curious.

Tell me what you see when you look at yourself. Do you look through the eye of your mind or do you count the lines that mark your age number? Please share you comments.

Cheers!

-N

No, I’m not old!

I had an eye appointment today and the first thing I noticed when I was walking into the big building of doctors offices was there were lots of “old” people coming and going. Blue hairs I call them. My eye doc, who is really great, is retiring to Florida. Bummer, Chuck and I both like him. He is mellow and works quickly. Gonna miss that guy. Eyes haven’t change much, that’s good. I have small cataracts, that’s bad. Did I really say that??

Please God, I’m not old, right?

In my head I’m 30. I was skinny and energetic when I was 30. No reading glasses, I could jog a mile without breathing hard and I could drink and dance all night if I wanted. My kids were little so I knew I wasn’t old.

I worked for almost 10 years at the University of Arizona and it was one of the most fun jobs I ever had. Primarily because I was around young people all day. It was great. The best part was hearing about their fabulous and crazy college aged lives. I heard about who they were hanging out with, where they were going for vacays and the parties they hit on the weekends. I felt younger being around them. They cheered me and kept me from the oldness feelings.

For years before that I had worked in the medical field in hospitals and private offices. I found I spent my time talking about doctor appointments, medications, sick days, and aches and pains. Not getting ready to go to the beach or bar hopping with friends to meet people. It made me feel old and I started to sound like these grumpy people.

Right now my Sirius car radio is on the “top hits or Z100 or coffee house”, my Pandora is on the “Mark Ronson station or today’s hits”. I’d love to hit the dance clubs and get sweaty dancing all night, but they look at me funny. Ok, Chuck isn’t a dancer. So I’m not that skinny girl who closed the bars when she was 22 but I’m still fun. Just try me!

My son said I was loud about everything. I think it was a compliment?!?! I’m not typing in all caps, right?

I know I can’t avoid the chronological progression but dammit in my brain I’m not that old. “I’m gonna kiss myself I’m so pretty.”

Cheers!

-N

David Bowie

I remember the first time I saw a picture of David Bowie and it confused me. Who was he? What was he? Even in my teenage confusion I was also immensely curious about this human.

Now he’s gone.

I had a gay friend who loved Bowie. George knew every song lyric and I think he might have wanted to be Bowie. After George’s death Bowie was always linked in my mind to my friend. That’s okay, I think Bowie would have been glad to know it.

I can’t say he was one of my favorites but I did react to his music when I heard it. I was a ZZ Top, Led Zepplin, Fleetwood Mac, etc music listener in my youth. Rock and Roll with guitars, bass and drums-loud. His style was so fluid and compelling. Fame!

My daughter watched The Labyrinth all the time. It was one of her all time favorites and when she found out I knew who Bowie was when I was her age she was blown away.

Yes your mom’s old but she is also cool!!

Also he had two different colored eyes-that’s majestic!!

Rock on- Let’s Dance.

-N