I’m feeling crowded. The urge to wipe spaces clean is swamping me. I have no problem getting rid of clutter. However I am married to a future “Hoarder” episode. I have few items which have true sentimental value. Photos are the most valuable, along with things from my kids like baby books, school drawings and cards. The collections made during travels, some things I have picked up with historical connections, and things like my grandmother’s costume jewelry. My vinyl collection and turntable.
Also my library. I am attached to those tomes and relish adding to my library where ever I go. Used book stores are my drug.
To my mind space is clean, and just because there is an open area on a shelf or a clear spot in a corner or a space of open wall does not mean it’s okay to put something there. I have a thing about not having anything in front of my windows. I like being able to walk up to a window and look out. Just because the piles are neat doesn’t mean they belong on that counter or corner of the room.
I go through my drawers and closets regularly. It is liberating. I don’t like crap in my car either.
Hubby, well…neat piles of who knows what on every surface, a used Burger King bag collecting garbage in his truck that never gets washed or vacuumed, a t-shirt drawer stuffed so full he can barely get the five he wears all the time inside, and a back yard filled with stuff he plans to reuse. This is why I am married to him. To keep him from being an episode of “Hoarders”. I’ve already told my kids they have to watch out for him if I die first and leave him alone. I can picture it now – a recluse watching TV, dirty dishes everywhere, his recliner surrounded by TV trays filled with projects he will never finish. Him loading the washer and dryer so full they explode, and never rinsing off a dish or pan before putting it into the dishwasher. It’s my nightmare.
But we argue, sneak, tease, laugh, question, ignore, and get sexy. It’s how we’ve stayed married for 39 years.
One thing to be said for being older and married for a while (36 years) is Chuck and I can pretty much tell each other anything. The biggest thing we’ve learned is how to say these things to each other. A kiss and a sexy butt grab will ease any discussion topic. Speaking to each other the way we would want to be spoken to is the best way to approach a topic. I like to tease him, tell him not to yell before I finish talking and touch his face and tell him he has really nice lips.
Sometimes the argument starts one of us will say “lets stop talking before we get really mad.” If we need to have that discussion it is couched in kisses or snuggles and confirming we won’t be defensive and that we will go to those tools learned in many team building strategy training’s we’ve done a jillion times at work. Listen, repeat, confirm. To those he and I have added making out and heavy petting afterward.
It works for us.
I’ve said many times I’m rather a hermit, but times like today it was very hard to say goodbye when Chuck headed back up north this morning. I’m missing him and on my 3rd glass of wine. We did lots of kissing and hugging before he left. Good things to remember while he is away.
He was so busy with stuff around here as we start the prep for selling our place over these last two weeks and I was very proud of him. He was speaking my love language.
I plan to take a page out of my sister Mary’s book and downsize with this move. She had to do three moves in about that many years and she really cleaned house literally, getting rid of the clutter and excess. I’ve been here for 25 years so Chuck and I have a lot of stuff to weed through and sort out. I’m better at letting things go so the house isn’t quite as cluttered but I do have a lot of books, CD’s and DVD’s and my sewing/craft room is pretty busy with lots of things I probably don’t really need.
He was telling me his plan for clearing out his back yard clutter making me very happy. He has a direction for it. It won’t happen super fast, maybe over a couple of months. He’s a really good man.
So I will sit here wishing for a cuddle and being busy with my part of the plan.