My house is slowly losing the strongly imprinted energy of a human who resided there for years.
She and dad moved in with hubby and I in 2000 after dad had a really bad stroke. He passed in 2002, and mom stayed for several years after he died. During part of that time she spent five years in a retirement community before coming back to us – she had physical needs costing a chunk of change each month. She moved back into the room she lived in with dad, and refreshed her energy in that space.
Now she has moved on, her physical body is resting with dad in a shared spot. They are, in our minds, together again. So the energy is fading ever so gradually.
The room, their room, is changing into a guest room with a University of Arizona theme. The walls are being painted cardinal red and navy blue. The furnishings will be different. The bedding and wall hangings conforming to the theme.
Yet…she and my father will still reside in this room that was originally built for them. Dad and mom’s UA sports memorabilia will fill the walls, joining the items we have and the things our daughter, a UA alum, is loaning us. Although the room will look strikingly different from the cozy room she passed away in, she and dad will be back.
Their human energy will fade, but memories will be nurtured for future generations to remember two cool people.
I shared on Facebook something a friend had posted about what she wanted for Christmas from her kids. It spoke to me profoundly. She said she just wanted them.
I miss my kids. They live on opposite coasts and in different states from me. When my daughter Melissa started at the University of Arizona she moved out and never moved home again. After graduation in 1997 she moved from Tucson to Los Angeles and is in California still.
My son Aaron left for Northern Arizona University in 2001 and spent a couple of summer breaks at home, then moved to California to attend school there. He met his wife there and after about a year they moved to Oklahoma, then Texas and now will be living in Florida.
I admit I am envious of mothers who live near their grown children. It would be wonderful to have them over for Sunday dinners, be able to share birthdays with them, and plan holidays together. Just being able to spontaneously go to a football game together or share a bonfire party would give me such pleasure.
So my Christmas wish is time with my children. To laugh, love, and spend precious moments together.
I sit here with a glass of wine, a plate of cheese and football on the television waiting for 2016. My heart is happy because I have spent the last week with my kids laughing and eating, talking about everything and everyone (insert winking emoticon here,) doing a bit of house hunting for a possible move to the area and visiting extended family in the area.
Oh by the way I am in Texas. Thank God for Petsmart Pet hotel and very observant Catalina AZ neighbors making this possible.
Melissa and I made the trip out by car through Winter Storm Goliath. That was a bad move. I had been watching the forecasts and thought we were going to be following it, but no, it waited for us and hammered us the whole way. We woke up after a middle of the night stop to sleep with a 1/2 inch of ice encasing the car. Between snow, sleet and rain it was slow and steady all the way. The weather has been much better since our arrival.
Do you make New Year’s resolutions? I do, sort of, they are more like New Year’s ideas for self improvement with no real commitment involved. My personal direction this coming years remains pretty much the same yet there are big things in the works, things that would change my life dramatically. They have nothing to do with joining a gym or similar promises.
Chuck and I are seriously considering a move from Arizona. We want to reduce debt and expenditures by this process. It will make it easier for Chuck to retire and I want that for him. It’s time for the man to stop working so hard. In this process I met a very fun realtor for Century 21 named Brenda Stewart. She is so typically Texan-there are no strangers and everyone gets hugged. I’m really happy that I am working with her because it is like hanging out with my Texas cousins and they are SO fun.
We have plenty to do to get our place ready to sell and with luck it won’t take long. The best part of this is that my husband will have to clean up the back half of our acre that holds all his stuff. The house is pretty well kept clutter free by me but that back part of the yard where he has years worth of stuff he has brought home before I could stop him now sits collecting pests and is disguised in tall grass. My own personal Sanford and Sons yard.
My daughter, who is great at planning things like this gave me some great ideas about getting it done. Also, her dad will listen to her and not argue like he will with me. I will have her talk to him and send him detailed email instructions so I’m out of the picture except to do my part. This is how we have stayed married for 36 years!
I hope the new year brings great things for all and that plans will be fulfilled to the benefit of all.